Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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