Will you blow on my dice?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
