she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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