The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize