Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
