It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize