people are starting to question the shark bite story
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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