genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
