apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
