I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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