so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
