I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
