Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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