You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
well you can't waste a boner
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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