im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
