I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my shit smells like andre
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She bit a glass in half.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
