do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize