grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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