Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
