Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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