Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
