Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
