Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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