Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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