It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
