My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
