What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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