break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
