party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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