Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
