You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize