This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize