this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
