i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
