i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
