I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it because I queefed?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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