So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
