party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
