you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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