Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
