He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
