So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
