It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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