To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
