while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize