Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
