just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
His nipple licking is glorious
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