They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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