Im at strip club and am horny
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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