A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I will pee on everything he values.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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