I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
