Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
