problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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