even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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