one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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