Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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