I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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