I wish my penis had an off switch
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
