If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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