does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
