Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize