I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
