singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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